Dreaming Forward: The Healing Power of Forgiveness in Times of Grief

It’s times when you think better days are ahead, you may find yourself saying things like, “ one day I will own a coffee shop, I’ll become a physician, I’ll take my grandchildren traveling.  

When you find yourself grieving over something that was lost or taken away, you wish you could go back in time.  You dream backwards.  

Grieving is nothing more than dreaming in reverse that we can somehow change what has happened.  We long for a time when we lived innocently and were unaware of the tragedy that would come.  
This makes healing feel as if it is impossible, because it feels like our circumstances are unchangeable.  

Do you resonate with any of the following situations that seem unchangeable?

•  When I’ve lost something I will never get back.  

•  When I have to face the end of the dreams I had for the future and plans that I had.  

•  When the reminders of the pain never end, some of this can be attached to hurt from a family member.  

•  When it feels that things will never feel normal again.  

With grief that is so very deep from all of these painful situations, it seems crazy to think that forgiveness should apply.  What would forgiveness even accomplish?  Why would I go through the tough work to forgive if it isn’t going to make a difference?  

I will admit that at times forgiveness can be a hard step to take, but it’s the only step that will lead to anything good coming of your situation.  Every other choice, even deciding to do absolutely nothing and remaining where we are only adds more hurt upon hurt.  

What I’ve learned over the years is that forgiveness is much more satisfying than revenge.  

Revenge is only you paying twice for the hurt caused by someone else and thinking it will make you feel better.  In the long term it will cost you more emotionally, as well as spiritually than what you would ever want to pay.  

Forgiveness does not let the other person off the hook.  What it does is put them in God’s hands.  The peace that you will feel from forgiveness is so much more satisfying than revenge.  

Choose forgiveness.  Choose to live your life in the peace that we have in our relationship with Jesus Christ.